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E3 2010 Day 1: Microsoft Join the Casual Revolution! June 15, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in News, Opinion.
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Usually, Microsoft has a rather strong showing at E3. They’ve always shown big titles and exciting new hardware. This year, however, Microsoft’s presentation struck me as less than stellar for a few reasons. Since the presentation felt like it as split into two halves, let’s examine both individually.

First, we start with the ‘hardcore half.’ Yes, a plethora of big titles that are sure to make big cash. This year, Microsoft decided to skip any sort of surprises for the most part and stick to the big franchises we expected to see. Gears of War 3, Halo Reach, more Call of Duty, and so on. Sure, companies don’t need to surprise the audience in order to have a successful presentation. But it does add suspense, and let’s us know that we won’t be playing the same games forever. Nintendo is guilty of this too, but they still always manage to change the games enough. Metroid Other M is a perfect example. They took a successful, existing franchise and put an entirely different spin on it. Thus, despite seeing Metroid every year, it was an exciting announcement.

But as far as it seems, Microsoft’s third party games seem to be running by the idea of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ Obviously, people will buy these titles no matter what. Just the franchise names are enough to sell these games. It appears like Microsoft is taking after Nintendo in this respect. The hardcore experience has become about the same few titles. They’re the reason a lot of people buy X-Box 360’s at this point. So as far as software goes, I don’t think we can expect any changes in the companies E3 line-up. We’ll get a new Call of Duty every year, and some sort of Halo announcement. Cool, sure. But it’s clear that their focus isn’t in trying to find and pump up new games.

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This Year’s Duke Nukem Forever Update: It’s STILL Not Done June 12, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in Humor, News.
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Okay, this isn’t really news at this point. It’s just kind of a gaming folk legend. But seeing any headline that has the words ‘Duke Nukem Forever’ in it still never fails to excite me. Will it be a release date? Or a cancellation perhaps?? Is it going to be some sort of movement at all? But alas, it never is. Instead, it’s usually just 3D Realms or Take Two Interactive claiming that it’s still being made. But I have to say, last year’s announcement gave me some sort of hope. Remember that teaser trailer? Man, it almost seemed like it coming out sometime!

Well don’t worry everyone; it’s not. Duke Nukem Forever still remains gaming’s biggest joke. This year’s update on it illustrates that rather well. As it seems, Take Two Interactive sued 3D Realms for breaching their contract by continuing to delay the game. I’d say that’s a fair reason to sue, especially since we’ve all let it slide for 13 years. But no, this story wouldn’t be nearly funny enough that way. So, to keep up the circus running, 3D Realms hit back with a countersuit. Why? Because it’s still in development. This all happened in May, and now it appears the case has been settled easily.

So what’s the update? Well, now we know that 3D Realms is still making it…. Oh wait…. This isn’t news at all. But I thought I’d take the space to just reflect for a moment on this, as I do every year around this time. I remember sitting at a friend’s house when I was in middle school watching the trailer for DNF and thinking “Woah, these graphics look sick!” Oh, how times have changed. Let’s put it this way; Duke Nuken Forever is very close to joining the ranks of infamous golden snails like James Camerons’ Avatar (First started in 1993, released in 2009) and Guns and Roses’ Chinese Democracy (Started recording in 1994, released 2008).

So here’s my big question: Which will finish first, Duke Nuken Forever or Dr. Dre’s follow up to The Chronic 2000? I for one think it’s time to start a massive betting pool. And personally, my vote is going to Dr. Dre on this one…

Are Music Games Getting Out Of Control? June 9, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in Opinion.
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A few weeks ago, we posted about Rock Band 3’s keyboard teaser. We pointed out some problems that could potentially arise with such a thing. But there are more problems than that.

Ket me start by noting that I’ve been a huge fan of the fake instrument games since the first Guitar Hero. I play some instruments myself, and I found this to be a really fun game due to it’s fun, lack of pressure gameplay. When you’re playing an instrument, there’s the need to be impressive. Making mistakes translates to being sloppy. But these games take away that pressure, allowing you the freedom to jump around and make a fool of yourself while making as many mistakes (Within reason) as possible. That’s something that’s still inherently in these games. It’s still fun to make a fool of yourself whether on guitar, turntables, or drums.

Now, it’s not these companies faults that these games are very addicting. It’s simply that when new content comes out, we want to play it. Even though we’re doing the same thing from song to song, it feels different. But these companies have learned to play the market. First it was releasing a new game every year. Then came additional instruments. And once they added the ability to carry songs over from game to game, it was at the price of downloadable content. Bravo to Acivision and Harmonix for coming up with new ways to get money. Really, I don’t believe we can be bitter at a company for doing business.

But things are starting to get a bit complicated. Music games have started to become like Madden games. They come out every year, and keep getting bought for their ‘new’ content. But unlike Madden, it isn’t simply one game a year. Currently, we’re starting to look at three a year: Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and DJ Hero. If you already have each accompanying set of instruments, that’s at least $150 a year spent. But the music game industry has slowly become less about providing fun, and more about one-upping the other company. We’ve got a gaming civil war on our hands between Activision and Harmonix, and we’re in the middle of it. (more…)

Valve’s E3 Mystery: Let The Speculation Begin! June 2, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in News.
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Well, E3 is less than two weeks away, so it’s time to get to pumped. As always, we’re expecting big surprises to come out of nowhere this year. That’s always been the fun of E3. Well, apparently Valve have become aware of this judging by a press release sent out by Aperture Science, Portal’s big bad science facility. The letter reads as follows:

Dear Subject Name Here,

Aperture Science is pleased to inform you that we have partnered with Valve to announce the gala CANCELLATION of the June 14 Portal 2 event at the Regal Theater. The event will be replaced by a surprise. And even though the cancellation of the event certainly counts as a surprise, we are pleased to further announce that the cancellation of the event is not THE surprise. However, per International treaties regarding the definition of the word “surprise”, of which both Aperture Science and Valve are signatories, the time, date and content of the actual surprise will only become available as you experience the surprise. (more…)

The Prince of Persia Movie Review June 1, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in Review.
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I stand before you a broken man. Honestly, I don’t know what I was expecting. I knew this was an awful idea walking in to the theater. But I suppose there’s always that hope that something will go right, or least mediocore-ly. But The Prince of Persia: The Sands Of Time couldn’t even deliver something sub-par. It had to go as low as it possibly could. Of course this was going to happen. Who was I trying to fool? Why, it was this film’s destiny to fail so horribly!

There’s really no point in taking a ‘What’s wrong with this’ approach as, frankly, not a thing is ‘right’ about it. Plus, in the interest of maintaining a more constructive rather than opinionated criticism (Though, this film has made me understand why some find this so hard), let me try and contextualize my complaints into something more useful.

If you’ve followed this blog recently, you may have noticed that I have big problems with video game adaptations. I haven’t found one that strikes me as both a good adaptation and a good movie. For me, Silent Hill is the closest thing we have to decency. There are literally hundreds of reasons why this is the case. Prince of Persia serves as a textbook example of these flaws. (more…)

Oh SNAP; The Pokemon Black/White Legendaries Look Epic May 28, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in News.
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So last week, we got our first peek at Pokemon Black and White’s new starting Pokemon. Neat. But MAN, take a look above. Those two are apparently the new legendary Pokemon set to appear in the newest games. So, now we can start asking the important question: Which one are you getting? I’m leaning towards Pokemon Black, with that Smugleaf as my starter.

Well, we’ve got some time to decide…

Uwe Boll Sues Downloaders… Who Downloads a Uwe Boll Movie?!? May 28, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in Humor, News.
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Right back at you, Uwe.

Well here’s a fun bit of news. I’m sure you all remember Uwe Boll. You now, the ‘filmmaker’ who has nearly single handedly turned the practice of video game adaptations into a hopeless joke? Well, he’s been fading from the spotlight lately. Without creating terrible movies (At least ones that we know about), challenging critics to boxing matches, or putting out petitions we’ve seemed to move on from Mr. Boll. His antics have finally faded from the public eye….

NOPE. Apparently Uwe Boll must’ve been aware of this, as he’s forced himself back into the public eye…. by suing us. That’s right. Apparently, the director is tracking down people who have illegally downloaded his Far Cry adaptation. So far, he’s tracked down over 4,500 offenders, and filed lawsuits accordingly.

But I think the real news story here is that over 4,500 people have SEEN Far Cry. Seriously, who has been wasting hard drive space on downloading that film in the first place? Well, if you’re one of those people, you better destroy the evidence quickly. Not just for fear of getting sued, but also if you want to remain a respected member of society.

Inevitable Announcement: Rock Band 3 Keyboard Teased May 25, 2010

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Well, who didn’t see this coming? Reports are coming in that the new demo for Green Day: Rock Band (Sometimes, I still think it’s a joke when I read that), features the image you see above. I think it’s only logical that we can assume this means Rock Band 3 will feature some sort of keyboard peripheral. You know, because you don’t have enough fake instruments in your house yet. Brass Hero, when will you come to fruition?

But the question I’ve always had is this: How do you make a keyboard game without actually making people PLAY a keyboard? I mean, you’re going to be hitting buttons on a plastic keyboard. We have a word for that. It’s called a Casio. So are there only going to be five keys you can actually hit? And if so, would that really even be fun? And where are Harmonix finding the screen space to do this anyways? Will there even be room for a background image when all instruments are active? Well, I’ve always trusted Harmonix to make good decisions, but I’m skeptical. Unsurprised, but skeptical.

Human Centipede: The Flash Game May 25, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in News.
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Behold! The Human Centipede!

Well, this is disturbing. You may have recently heard of a horror movie called “The Human Centipede.” It’s a film that revolves around a doctor who is creating a, you guessed it, human centipede? And how’s he doing this? Why, by linking human beings together from mouth to…. rear. Okay, maybe it’s a tad silly, but the movie actually looks somewhat disturbing.

So what’s the best thing to do when something shocks us? Turn it into a flash game, naturally. Someone has taken it upon themselves to create a Space Invaders type game where you play as the film’s sinister doctor. Your creation has begun to rebel against you, so it’s your task to kill them, and the police who are trying to stop you. Oh, you also collect roofies to slow the centipede down. This could actually be a bit more disturbing than the movie….If you’re curious, you can play it HERE.

And for those of you who have never heard of the film, take a look at the trailer:

Criticizing the Critics: A Call For Stronger Writing May 23, 2010

Posted by Giovanni in Opinion.
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I’ve followed video game criticism for a long time now. It’s gotten to the point where I had to make IGN.com my homepage; otherwise I’d just keep opening new tabs of it. I read a lot of reviews, including many for games whose existence I never even cared about. I’ve just always loved the idea of hearing as many viewpoints as possible on one thing. Everyone has something different to say, and I’ve always believed that hearing what others have to say is an important part of building the gaming community. I mean, there’s a whole culture of people who sit around debating cinema or theater. We’re an intelligent community too, right? We deserve the same privilege of communication.

But as anyone who has ever checked a websites forums or comments section, when it comes to responding to criticism, gamers only have one function: Flame. Of course, you get this in any form of online communication, but gaming websites are especially victim to it. But where is that intelligent communication between people who just love looking at video games? Where’s that same spirit that keeps the ‘film world’ moving? What is gaming criticism lacking that leaves us yelling (AKA CAPS LOCK) instead of analyzing? (more…)